posted by admin on Aug 31
I recently went to watch the much-talked-about Expendables movie - and was it as good as they say?
Well, the only reason I am writing this review is to stop anyone else paying to see it when it’s really best to wait until it comes out on DVD if I’m honest!
I only went to see it due to the 2 magic words: ‘Bruce’ and ‘Willis’. And however sexy he looked in his little suit - he was barely a cameo role - as was Arnie who was in the film even less than Mr Willis!
I loved all the action-hero films of the 80’s and 90’s - so was drawn to this film due to all the old favourites in there from Die Hard, Commando and Rocky - as well as the new kid on the block; Jason Statham. However, this was a disappointment.
The Plot:
I can’t say it any other way than the storyline was terrible. There were several characters who weren’t even famous to begin with which seemed a bit weird as the others were all such long-termers in the movie world.
All of the baddies were ‘movie nobodies’ and even 2 of the ‘good guys’ were so un-important that they may as well have been acted by the same person - nobody would have really noticed!
Dolph’s character had a pointless role of ‘loose cannon turned baddie turned goodie again’ with really only the slimmest of connections to the main story - which itself was rather predictable and flimsy!
Basically these guys are a gang of heavies who go in and get things (like hostage situations) sorted asap - and that’s how the film opens. They then get propositioned by the very handsome Bruce Willis to help out with a problem on an imaginary Central or South American Island - which they turn down - but then go and do anyway after the ’sexy’ Governors daughter helps them out.
Needless to say the bad guys all die and the good guys get barely a scratch after lots of explosions and fights (and a few corny gags).
The Good Bits:
Some of the fight scenes did have me on the edge of my seat, however. I was so involved with the fighting and watching the really ‘nice’ injuries (like heads totally blown off, arms hacked off, etc) that the film went really quickly and it all made up for the fact that I couldn’t really hear what a lot of the characters said (but then that was always a problem with Stallone anyway!).
Conclusion:
Wait for the DVD release so you can fast-forward all the terrible biker/tattoo den scenes and the equally terrible airplane CGI effects - and then put the subtitles on so you actually know what they are saying!
My cinema viewing took place in a room with less than 100 seats and there were barely 20 or us in there on a Friday night! I can’t believe its a Number 1 Box Office Hit!
Go watch Scott Pilgrim vs The World insteadand add this to your Love Film listings!


